Time, When Things Happened

You've been deceived, you've been disappointed. You've been abandoned, you've been ditched. They called you weird, termed you a total left out. Criticized you, blamed you for starting the silence, refused to understand your condition. Didn't listen to you, been biased. Left you under the rubble of a mess they dragged you in, and walked off blameless. You've had months of sheer worry, constant drained feeling, mind totally occupied, unidentified feelings boiling in your chest, questions taking birth and most of all, the anxiety for what-will-happen. --But you know you've always had this tendency to actually enjoy every moment filled with every sort of emotion whether it be joy, anger, despair, anxiety or whatsoever. You've always believed in your self-created beliefs, you've always thought things and possibilities which sound odd to who ever you'll tell; and for these exact reasons, you somehow don't really mind it all. You've forgiven the people, you've started to overlook what they say, you sit and listen but don't speak much. You've made your choice and picked the uncertainty yourself, for yourself. You've gotten immune to whatever is happening; not that you don't still think a lot, not that you still at times fail to believe what you wasn't supposed to know, not that you've gotten over the feeling of uncertainty, but somewhere, you like it. You like this feeling. You know, that whatever happened and is happening, will be worth remembering after a year or two or three. Therefore, you're living it and letting everything happen. Making the wrong choice, playing odd with your tracks, wasting time over thinking too much, enjoying the uncertainty, showing off your feelings--cause you know this is one of the many lanes you're crossing. Sooner or later, this will pass, this will end; and eventually there would come a time when you'd be standing to start a whole new walk on a whole new lane. Would you not then, want to look at the previous journey and sigh with a smile.?

Its May, Again

Its May. My heart is heavy; not with the pain, neither with sorrow. Its an unidentified heaviness.. Or may be I'm familiar with it; its contradictory. So much has changed, or may be nothing has changed.

Its May. The summer clouds are back, fluffy and thick, yet weightless. The wind is warm again, but its pleasant, filling me with nostalgia.

Its May, and its only now, that I don't really mind the sun; for reasons unknowingly known.

The same trees, identical to the images I possess from that time. Its the same journey, or may be its no more..

Like every year, I'm back once again, sitting under the shades of the trunks of the slim trees. All of us. I remember the sun, the blowing of warm pleasant wind, the clouds, the open ground, the rush, us --more clearly than ever at this time of the year. It marks the accuracy. Everything is the same, but everything has changed..

Me, my words, my priorities, my boundaries, my circle and most probably, my lane as well..

The unchanged change is telling me, its May, again.