A Little Magic Would Do

One of those nights when the urge to write has dragged me out of bed, and here I’ve come, bringing along with me tangled loops of very limited words. And a cup of tea.

I have a blank space before my eyes and a keyboard beneath my fingers, and I am struggling, believe me I really am, to assemble my over flowing, vague, ambiguous thoughts properly in a manner for you to understand. I really wish to fill this empty space with well organized words like baskets filled with berries... Or glasses filled with wine… Or the air filled with sweet fragrances of young flowers... There’s so much I wish to say, so much I can't.

And as I sit here, intently following with my gaze the frenzied wisp of smoke rising from the hot tea and noticing its gradual disappearance in the stillness of the night, contemplating on where to begin from, my eyes have encountered the silver light streaming straight through the window, falling at the maroon floor.

The moon. It is the moon, and it is painfully beautiful tonight. Compelling me to quit on this struggle and carelessly sit at the cold marble floor, under the silver light. I sit near the window pane, gazing through the vast sapphire sky, witnessing the shimmery drama of the zillion stars and staring at the moon. A broken verse bearing a strong association suddenly echoes at the back of my head, a warm smile of special someone comes alive, and I continue staring the moon in my search of finding more images…

It is amazing to just sit back and observe how the tiny twinkling stars communicate. They seem small and weightless, but their soft violet radiance bears a sensation that is priceless! Perhaps this is how I had always classified certain joys of life. Small, but priceless. I don’t know what it is about absorbing the soft silver light to the bones, it just endows the magic that I need to enter the stupor of ecstasy where despite the unsettling gloom; I suddenly fall in love with everything around me.

In the air stirred the mist of permanganate purple, deep cobalt and pale silver –colors of my aura, as Aziz would put it – just about the right combination of magic dust that was needed to renew the day’s lost smile and almost diminished hope.

So. I decide to bend down, and carefully gather the small fallen pieces and set about binding them back together to that one whole. Because that ‘one whole’ is definitely worth it.

I Have A Wish. :)

"Because there's no wrong in wishing upon a star."

Fiction: Hopeless Romantic

Dear Diary,

What it takes to be a strong person, I never knew. And to tell the truth, I always believed that it takes nothing, and even if does, why should I care.

But like always, wrong I was. And now I know, it takes everything; everything in the process of becoming strong and hard. Or maybe, you become strong just like that, for everything that you ever had goes away, what reason then are you left with to be soft and tender?

And if you think that becoming strong and hard are good things, you sure are mistaken –since you haven’t experienced the pain of it. But even after all these lessons that I’ve learned all this way, it doesn’t matter. I’m a hopeless person, I know, I’d fall again –for the same person. All over again for the same person, who is responsible for all these wounds and dents, or to be more precise, for all these lessons; but I least care..

You know it is never easy to hate that person whom every part of yours has loved madly.

So now where I stand, as what I stand, I’m still not-strong. I’m still the same, despite all the lessons boldly carved over my heart. –I don’t care. I don’t care.

I still ask the time, to take me back to the way where I lost myself. Doesn’t matter if I lost myself; at least I found love. At least, I experienced love, even if for the shortest while. I want to live it all over again; all over, with the pain. I want it to be bitterer, more miserable. Because the more painful, the more lasting; and the more lasting it would be, the more real would it feel.

I know I’ve hopelessly lost it, well then that’s a good sign, because sanity is the last thing I would ever desire. There’s no way now, for me to live again; you don’t think breathing means living, or do you?

Sense was something missing in me since always, and it still is not found; but I’m sensible enough to know, that whatever gone is not coming back. Guess that’s okay anyway, I’m holding on to the engraved memories and experiences. As long as I live, they’re going nowhere away.

I know this is life and not a movie where you succeed in killing yourself. Eating, talking, smiling and even laughing –yes I am. But the essence is no more. It’s the smile which doesn’t reaches the eyes, it’s the food which doesn’t provide nutrition, it’s the laugh with doesn’t touches the heart; it’s the surviving, and not the living.

I’m not a pessimist, but neither am I going to preach any wisdom or hope; pity, if you think it could be of any use for brutally shaken people. Perfection is what a shaken seeks, and perfection is what he never gets. Very few are aware about how negatively does absolutism repels the shaken. –And those few are the shaken themselves.

Surely I say, it’s something now you’re destined to live with; because time happens to heal every wound, but fails in altering love.

Bliss

"The glow less eyes, the vacant heart, the world magic less;
My sun trapped behind the dreary clouds, leaving me hopeless!
I was sure but no I was wrong; patient I wasn't and patient I should have been.
It was time!
The light did come;
Straight from heaven –straight to me; to guide me through, to lead me free!
Yes, I feel alive.
Now, I'm alive."

Weather on 24th of Jan, 2012.

Some Dreams I Have

Some Dreams I have, to walk through Shores of Fantasy.
Some Dreams I have, to explore The Whole New World, My destiny.

Where there is Rain, Where there is Cold,
Where You get what You desire, Where You never get Old.

Some Dreams I have, To walk through the Shores of Fantasy.
Some Dreams I have, To explore the Whole New World of, My Destiny.

Where there is much green and much blue,

Where there are many, Who are Much Like You.

Some Dreams I have, To walk through the shores of fantasy.

Some Dreams I have, To explore the whole new world, My destiny.

Where Nature is luxury, Where impossibilities disappear; amazingly.

Some Dreams I have, To walk through the shores of fantasy.

Some Dreams I have, To explore the whole new world, My destiny.

Where fairy tales come to life,

Where fancy, rises high.

These Dreams I have, These wishes need life.

To fly high into the sky, dive deep into the ocean.

Experience death, and again come back to life.

Escape I will; some day, to give these surreal wishes; at last, A Life.