Saturday 28 January 2012

Fiction; Abandoned


And here I was standing on the open road trying to repeat and make sense of the break up line I just heard from my sunshine. My legs began to ache, the world seemed to wobble and I collapsed on the concrete road; my knees injured; but the pain was nothing compared to the agony my heart was tormented with!
Funny, how just yesterday I wished life to be long, and now the only desire that I could find within was of death; death, the only way which could provide me escape from this misery. Yes, miserable was what I wasn’t and miserable was the only thing I was.
No more was I the heroin, no more did I have the right to dream for a happy ending, no more was I allowed to smile to myself –what I thought to be a doubt turned out to be real, and what seemed real was absolute delusion; an absolutely beautiful dream which ended.
I rolled on my side, too numb to get up. The summer sky which was clear an hour ago was now trapped behind the heavy grey clouds, blocking the sunlight –it so significantly described my life; this sun of summer was definitely coming back again, my sun was never coming back again. My sun was gone, leaving me in this dark abyss; abandoning me.
As anticipated, it started to rain heavily. In no time I was all drenched, the numbness and despair was saturated. I was lying still on the road, no sound but the low soothing swish of rain. Waiting as I was in the hope to either die or to wake up from this horrible dream –I knew of course, I’m deceiving myself. Again. I was going to live; live to suffer, live to thoroughly go through the torturous sting of the piercing shattered pieces of my dreams, live to die. I was going to live.

She was warned. Yes she was. But Its always too late when realization struck; not that she’d die. But absolutism is what she would want and absolutism is what she wouldn’t ever get.

Saturday 7 January 2012

Society: I

Note; You know when you are so lazy and useless; almost rusted like me; You sometimes fail to produce a good piece even if you're filled with anger. So if this thing is not up to the mark, then I'm sorry. But I need to release it or else I would die.
-Well, not really die. ^_^
(try ignoring the colors too. Pulease.)
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Ever since I grew up, my parents- particularly my mother taught me to surrender before society; to care about what they would say, to be afraid of them- the people.
In my case;
Don't paste Atif Aslam's/Edward Cullen's/Taylor Lautner's/Jensen Ackles's/Paul Weasley's/Farhan Saeed's poster in your room; What would the people say?
Don't be so obsessed with novels, drama series, movies, singers; What would the people say?
Don't act like freaks when it comes to songs; What would the people say?
Don't make faces in the gathering; What would the people say?
THE HELL I CARE ABOUT WHAT WOULD THE PEOPLE SAY!
All this time, I used to get so mad about what people is she talking!?

The day I changed my subject from Medical to Literature, (My mother sort of supported me here. I would've have hanged myself or else). Those people I heard of, did come out to comment.
'Gosh! Why did you take literature? Its so Goddamn boring'.
'Ow, you're gonna study psychology? Haha, you'll become a psycho.(how much do I hate this word!? Ask me please!)
'Woah! You left medical and switched to humanities!? Are you out of your mind!'
*  *  *
The day I announced my liking about SuperNatural Stuff; The people came out again.
'Eeegh! I think Edward Cullen is gay. What do you like in him?'
'Harry Potter? You find this Hogwarts thing cool? Lol, Grow up!'
'Stephan Salvatore looks retarded! I can't believe you like HIM!'
'Jensen Ackles? From SuperNatural? Don't tell me you like Him or that show! Uhh your choice!'
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My interest in Literature;
'Its boring. Go for Language.'
'It doesn't have any scope. Go for Mass.Com.'
'Lol, so you'll be quoting Shakespeare and Shelley every now and then.'
*  *  *
Thats not it. I cannot miss the Old Aunties of the family who are so desperate to be greeted.
'Your daughter didn't greet me' -They would tell my mother. And guess what; You walk upto them, greet them once-twice-THRICE and they wouldn't seem to even hear you.
To all these comments up there, you're not allowed to give a straight face-smacking answer; Or else you know, what would they say.

My case however is actually nothing compared as to those other girls around. Who belong with such narrow-minded typical eastern families; where they aren't allowed to wear jeans, to hangout with friends, to listen to songs, to use the internet or have a personal cellphone- Entirely because their parents are so afraid of this stupid tag line what would the people say.

My parents are well-educated and well brought; not conservative like some other parents. But since we are the part of this society where people really do comment- criticise to be more precise; they are obliged to follow this mindset our society has bred. And now it is being transmitted to us and the coming generation who seem to care too much about the people out there.
We happen to select the career, the dressing style, even likes and interests according to what they would like -and they hardly seem to like anything.
*  *  *
I added to the top on my list of New Year Resolution, IGNORE THE THOUGHT what people would say AND DO AS YOU LIKE.
Not that this is the first time I'm deciding, but from the time I began to take critical notice I realized how insane it is to miss opportunities, to kill dreams just for the sake of people who are nobodies! who don't exist! Thus, to some extent I have given up caring about what people would sayYet, to tell the truth; somewhere sometimes, I do. Yes I do. *_*
But in the end, You know Its your life and only you have the right to decide what you should do and what you should not.
So here I release every ounce of anger I had against this tag line and the sick mindset of our society where we are slaves to these people, I hereby request them to GO TO HELL AND LET ME LIVE!!!

Thursday 5 January 2012

Fiction; Her Love ..

"When We said love will break you, love will give pain, pain and nothing but pain. -She contradicted. Because she didn't know. She was willingly dragging herself .. In fire. A Ceaseless Fire."~
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You know now you're eighteen, miles away in a hostel; You feel like a grown up. You know, now is the time to live life, to experience it. Now is the perfect age to fall in love ..
You fall in love with everything associated to love. They say red is the color of love; You start to love red. They say Roses symbolize love; You start to buy roses. They say you don't have to speak out your feelings when you're in love; You start to read eyes. Everything about love starts looking soo .. Lovable. All your life, you probably never really believed in Happily Ever Afters, but now you do. Yes you do.
And I knew I was in love.
Ohh Bliss ..♥
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"Though She didn't know... It does come with bliss, but ends with misery .."