Fiction. Journal Entry; She.

Page 1.

-Anonymous

 

Here I was, Sitting idle in the hall full of guests.

and there my husband was, with another woman.

a very silly part of me wanted to feel proud for what he was doing. He was pretending to save the life of a woman who belonged with his past; who intended to kill herself, If he came closer to any other woman.

Sure, she knew I'm His wife, but she was told that I and He have differences so vast; that I and He are living a life of compromise; that He loves her only.

This wasn't true though. He loved Me. He assured me that She was his past. And I am his present and future. He assured me that I'm his everything now!

The thought of doubting him made me feel guilty! I trusted him. I still trust him.

But even then, watching someone else holding his hand, made me feel insecure; watching his hand around someone Else's waist, made me feel lonely.

No, I wasn't doubting HIM, I was doubting my fate.

I was experiencing the feelings of a woman.

In that entire room however, no matter where He was, he had his eyes fixed on me.

He was trying to read my expressions, he was trying to predict my thoughts; But I was blank! Completely blank.

I was feeling no sensation at all. Just numbness, and a hint of an unidentified pain somewhere in my chest.

All this time, I was avoiding his gaze, avoiding eye contact with him. Because I knew, the moment his piercing gaze would touch my eyes, I would break! I would fail to hold back the boiling tears any longer.

And I was not in a state to afford it.

So there I was, alone. Inspite of his following eyes, I was ALL alone.

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Page.2

The reception was over soon..

It was time to have him next to me after so long tonight; It was time to walk home.

It was Time, to walk with him......

He looked at Me after so long tonight -Like looked at Me, not Studied Me; Which He was doing all this time tonight. And his expression ........ I don't know what it said. His big brown eyes had so much in them!

We started to walk.

And for the first time Tonight; When I was walking right next with him at last --I felt lonely. Miserably lonely....

I wouldn't know

In life, we come across many different people. But not necessarily do they stay with us.

Believer of unseen as I am, I hereby believe, that all those people with whom I came across in my entire life, does have a relation with me. No matter even if for the tiniest second we met, since we did come across, our lives did interfere. I may not remember them and they might not remember me, But He who is almighty, does know it all. And since He knows it all, we know it all. Even if I wouldn’t know, and even if I couldn’t see it happening, Somewhere, I would know still.

I see a man, and I might not ever see him again, and one day when he’ll be dying, I wouldn’t know.

I see a baby girl smiling to me, and I might not ever see her again, and one day when she’ll be getting married, I wouldn’t know.

Some friends I have, we might not stay in touch forever, and one day when they’ll miss me somewhere, I wouldn’t know.

One day, like this, it would be I who would die unlearned, unknown. And people wouldn’t know who I was really, what were my thoughts really. I would be gone, forgotten. But they wouldn’t know ever..

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