Friday 30 December 2011

Battles

Its been eighteen years and five months since I'm put on the face of earth. and since the time i grew up, i've come across battles and more battles.
battle between chocolate and vodka shot
battle between a swing and a slide
battle between cocacola and miranda
between burger and pizza
between barbie and candie
~************~
Battle between biology and computer science
battle between old crush and new crush
battle between red and pink
battle between one handsome guy and another handsome guy
battle between this cool song and the other cool song
battle between this friend and the other friend
~************~
Battle between psychology and english
battle between doubts and more doubts
battle between looks and attitude
between dreams and realities
~************~
Battle between freedom and compromise..
and the most important and consistent and never ending battle, Battle with this World.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
With the year 2011, ended every battle which started in 2009 and years back.
But as day follows night, Another battle awaits at the doorstep of 2012.....
Oh You Life!
But for now, I'm enjoying my rest. ;)

Saturday 24 December 2011

Adieu 2011

By the end of every year, I turn pretty nostalgic; I repeatedly ask this one question, ‘where did this year go?’ And sure enough, the answer is a deep sigh.
I remember not-welcoming 2011. Because I was sad, for the fact that time is running out of my hands!
I expected nothing from this year. I thought it to be like 2010, boring and absolutely unwanted!
When I was standing at the end of 2010, I had no words to define how my year 2010 was because it went unusually fast! There was altogether nothing super cool or evergreen about it; it was a boring speedy year.
However, now when I’m standing at the end of the year 2011, I could gladly answer the question how my year 2011 was.
2011 has given me answers to my questions, more questions, more experiences, more lessons and most of all,
2011 was like a dead end to everything I had from past. Everything I had, sort of wrapped up in 2011 in the form of just memories.....
2011 was a life changer. A true life changer.
2011 brought numerous new colors to my life.
It taught me to get over the regrets from my past, taught me to manage facing the world, taught me how to pull myself back every time I trip, and helped me construct that concealing wall around me.
2011 showed me who I am and what I want to do; it supplied me with chunks of courage to walk through uncertainties, and most of all, it provided me the strength to continue running in this race.
It made me realize that this life is a gift; that I wouldn’t get to live back again, so instead of wasting time in regretting and worrying and fighting and hating, I should live life.
Live it the way I want to, Experience every single moment, Make wrong decisions, Smile at my past mistakes, Step into the fog of uncertainty with concrete hope!
2011 helped me repair myself.
I owe this *New Me* to 2011.
So after 2008 and 2009, I hereby add 2011 to the list of Unforgetable Years.
Adieu 2011..


You changed me and my life.
I will really really miss you~*

Tuesday 13 December 2011

Fiction. Journal Entry; She.

Page 1.

-Anonymous
 
Here I was, Sitting idle in the hall full of guests.
and there my husband was, with another woman.
a very silly part of me wanted to feel proud for what he was doing. He was pretending to save the life of a woman who belonged with his past; who intended to kill herself, If he came closer to any other woman.
Sure, she knew I'm His wife, but she was told that I and He have differences so vast; that I and He are living a life of compromise; that He loves her only.
This wasn't true though. He loved Me. He assured me that She was his past. And I am his present and future. He assured me that I'm his everything now!
The thought of doubting him made me feel guilty! I trusted him. I still trust him.
But even then, watching someone else holding his hand, made me feel insecure; watching his hand around someone Else's waist, made me feel lonely.
No, I wasn't doubting HIM, I was doubting my fate.
I was experiencing the feelings of a woman.

In that entire room however, no matter where He was, he had his eyes fixed on me.
He was trying to read my expressions, he was trying to predict my thoughts; But I was blank! Completely blank.
I was feeling no sensation at all. Just numbness, and a hint of an unidentified pain somewhere in my chest.
All this time, I was avoiding his gaze, avoiding eye contact with him. Because I knew, the moment his piercing gaze would touch my eyes, I would break! I would fail to hold back the boiling tears any longer.
And I was not in a state to afford it.
So there I was, alone. Inspite of his following eyes, I was ALL alone.
*  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *
Page.2

The reception was over soon..
It was time to have him next to me after so long tonight; It was time to walk home.
It was Time, to walk with him......
He looked at Me after so long tonight -Like looked at Me, not Studied Me; Which He was doing all this time tonight. And his expression ........ I don't know what it said. His big brown eyes had so much in them!
We started to walk.
And for the first time Tonight; When I was walking right next with him at last --I felt lonely. Miserably lonely....