Sunday, 14 October 2012

Zindagi Megzara --Life Goes On

A five minute production.


Only from the heart could you touch the sky. –Rumi.

All those years when I was growing up, I knew a change is approaching; I knew I’d change. I was aware that time is flying by and sooner or later, I’d lose people I love. I knew something would happen, something which I guarantee can never catch me, eventually will. I was aware that something’s missing; something I don’t know, but something for sure. I knew as further I’d go, everything meaningful will lose all the essence it ever had. I knew the strings would change color, time would slip off, shackles would tighten and burden would get heavier. The wheel would however continue to spin, life would continue to move and the thoughts would continue to go round in circles, in a hoop; never ending.
But with every passing year, the desire to touch the sky and fly high grew even intense. Despite the chains I'm bound with, the wish to grab the shining stars didn't grow light, didn't fade. I may be 19, but I still dream to lay there at the cool grass, look up at the evening sky crowded with floating lights and marvel at the sensation of freedom they provide. I still wish to glide away to Never Land with these lanterns; A land where all the shackles would loosen and I'd never grow up.
Aimless these lanterns fly high; wish I were they, I’d pass this all by, and touch the sky.

Friday, 28 September 2012

Somebody I Am.

Rain.
Nights.
Books.
Coke.
Greenery.
Memories.
Coffee.
Long Texts.
Romance.
Construction Sites.
Fantasies.
Caterpillars.
Long Walks.
Shadows.
Cigarette Smoke. 
Wind.
Tea.
Writing.
Imagination.
Car Headlights.
Sky.
Clouds.
Bubbles.
Boats.
Farms.
Laughter.
Colors.
Winter.
Thinking.
Hyper.
Windows.
Buildings.
Cricket.
Wide Roads.
Fountains.
Music.
Intense Thoughts.
Lady Birds.
Confusions.
Doubts.
Water Falls.
Stand Out.
Disney Movies.
Weird.
Excited.
Nail Paints.
Vulnerable.
Brown Lights.
Turtles.
Chandeliers.
Pillows.
Pendants.
Sign Boards.
Chocolate Chips.
Candles.
Sea.
Dry Leaves.
Moon.
Socks.
Fog.
Ducks.
Tears.
Umbrellas.
Blankets.
Busy Streets.
Rocks.
Benches.
Traffic Jams.
Libraries.
Emotional Disaster.
Curtains.
Checker Pajamas.
Old Dresses.
Damp Tangled Hair.
Sweaters.
Faces.
Fishes.
Dreams.
Submissive.
Crayons.
Unusual Events.
Companions.

Sunday, 9 September 2012

Circle


Don't hate this five minutes work. Please.

I've been struggling so hard to not let go of my sanity and prevent my mind from wandering off, but in vain do I try for this is the time when all the hurdles disappear and my psyche goes on roaming in the planes of impossibilities and pure fantasies. This is the time when all the shackles loosen, all the burdens take a break; when there’s no jury of critics to force condemnation at me for thinking out of the box, or denounce my preferences. It’s finally night time --and this explains the energy that has forced me out of the bed and compelled me to write.
Every now and then, I receive a sharp pang of certain realizations, of certain bitter facts rather, which leaves me feeling helpless and powerless against the hoop of time and space that I’m bound in. –That we all are bound in.
With every step that I cover, there’s a detail being missed, and a detail being noticed at the same time. With every moment that I cross, there’s a memory from the past getting blur. Blurrier. Just now, while going through the stack of memories that I’ve collected in the journey of the previous 18 years and this distinct 1 year, a realization that a change has approached and a memory is being erased has filled me in.
Had I known any possible way of holding on to the memoirs that I've gathered all this way, I’d have done it straight away, preventing them from slipping off; but they are. They are slipping off… Like sand from my hand; slowly, gradually.
And as I dwell upon the disappearing remains of my past, I naturally start thinking about how I was or how will I be after a few years from now? About how I've become, or if I've become anything so far? I wonder if there's something that I've earned all this way? Or found somebody for life? If I could really take a refuge from here, onto the planet of caprice? If I could really un-know certain things and live back in oblivion, happy again? All those fantasies and yearnings that have occupied me since quite a while now come before me and I notice, how every wish is connected with another; compelling me to move in a circle, in an ellipse. I feel being driven by a one-way wheel, that prohibits me from going back.

Thursday, 30 August 2012

Bizarre



....Because I was caught talking to myself aloud, like a complete retard...

If there was a trend in Pakistan of seeing a psychiatrist, my parents wouldn't have wasted time in giving a second thought to the idea! They strongly believe that I’m in severe need of counseling; 5 sittings, minimum.
---And I wouldn't say no if they really take me. Like seriously.

Things are bizarre. -Again; And I'm a total fool. ---I guess we all are; at some time in our life, we all are.