Can't really be 'Me'

We live in this world as what they want us to be, rather than what we really are. Just to please them, Every day, We do things which We want to do not.

Talking of me.

The composed girl this world see, is the result of hard efforts. Now when I look back and see what I was, I couldn't believe it. "Was I really like that? Have I really changed this much?"

What I was and what I am.

But how long could the real me hide? How long could I act?

And so, at times, when I'm alone.. The walls break, and the concealed me comes out.

And then, I feel like going somewhere far, as far as I could. And never return. Hide.
Run to a place where there are no unusual changes, no necessity to make choices, no responsibilities, no obligations .. Where I could cry, for people I know and people I knew; for people I did meet and people I didn't meet; for people who are alive and for people who are dead.
-Where there is no one to comment on everything I do. No one to point out my most insignificant weaknesses.... Where there is peace with time. Where there is peace with my own being.

 ..............................................................................

Of course, I have to recollect myself; Hard as it is. But If I'd do that not, what would this world say?

Oh yes, the world, As I'm taught to care of them only ...

*Sigh*

Why did I decide to Write a Blog?

I don’t remember when I first heard this word, BLOG. But the expression of it was of a “difficult and a high-figh thing.”

Funny as it might seem, but I always wanted to have a blog of my own. I was so curious of what it really is. It was the name that attracted me. Blog

In December 2010, I was watching a movie in which one friend who was a photographer had a blog and his other friend tells him that he visits his blog frequently. From that I picked up a gist that BLOG is for professionals only. Though I still wanted to know what it really is, how to make it, what is it for ...

A couple of months ago, I was listening to my favorite radio presenter, when I heard him telling a caller that she could start a blog where she could share her talent. He also suggested her to look for tips on Google. Tadaa! I did exactly the same. First I googled the term ‘blog’, then I entered other keywords. Like, ‘why make a blog?’ then ‘how to make a blog’. I went on following the instructions.

Of course, first I was fearful, nervous; for what if people didn’t appreciate it? What if I make mistakes? But then, the voice of my insight –who speaks when I least expect its help- scolded me, nobody is gonna eat you up if you make a mistake. I needed that, because I was convinced, completely. And determined – for the first time – to do it.

I wanted to express myself, a loud, publicly.

Share what I have to say, share what I think, share what’s happening with me. So that one day when I would be no more, the world will know that I existed.

For this reason, I put aside my silly fear ignored my grammar troubles and went on. Nobody is gonna eat you up- I kept telling myself.

>>>>> 

Thanks to a friend who guided me and also appreciated <3

It’s been two months since I’m blogging; and guess, I’m already addicted to it.

It feels good, letting things to come out and expressing yourself.

Blogging has made me able to concentrate; now I keep my eyes open and mind attentive. My habit of thinking about things hard has increased. My feelings have become even stronger. When ever now I am sad, happy, worried – I prefer writing. Or whenever I get any falsafiyaana thought I right it up; make a rough draft of it.

Writing a blog has also brought my mind in working. Like a friend said, Use it before it get rusted – Haha.

(Wish it had helped me with my laziness as well =D)

I learned that sometimes, we really should put aside our fears and take the initiative.

Doing something and making a mistake, AND not doing something because of the fear of making a mistake – both are the same things. Then why not do it? =)

God dwells in my Heart

God is one tricky business. Hes a mystery. Nobody could understand Him and His doings.
He is nowhere and yet He is everywhere!
I searched for Him everywhere. In temples, In mosques; He wasn't found. Yet I found Him residing in My heart!

Amazing how He is there in my broken heart when this entire universe is not enough to accommodate Him!
Often I cry in gratification when I see Him showering His blessings upon me! Such a sinner I am; And How merciful My God is, How easily He forgives me, How much He loves me ..

God is present in every single atom! Unseen as He is, But His existence is doubtless!

Some Dreams I Have

Some Dreams I have, to walk through Shores of Fantasy.
Some Dreams I have, to explore The Whole New World, My destiny.

Where there is Rain, Where there is Cold,
Where You get what You desire, Where You never get Old.

Some Dreams I have, To walk through the Shores of Fantasy.
Some Dreams I have, To explore the Whole New World of, My Destiny.

Where there is much green and much blue,

Where there are many, Who are Much Like You.

Some Dreams I have, To walk through the shores of fantasy.

Some Dreams I have, To explore the whole new world, My destiny.

Where Nature is luxury, Where impossibilities disappear; amazingly.

Some Dreams I have, To walk through the shores of fantasy.

Some Dreams I have, To explore the whole new world, My destiny.

Where fairy tales come to life,

Where fancy, rises high.

These Dreams I have, These wishes need life.

To fly high into the sky, dive deep into the ocean.

Experience death, and again come back to life.

Escape I will; some day, to give these surreal wishes; at last, A Life.