Euphoria

Dressed in a red rich material satin gown, she walked hastily towards the only dream she had ever dreamt. The clinking of her metal anklet as she walked created a fascinating melody that weaved in the air a symphony which will ring through the story as it would go. Her face displayed various hues of doubt, fear, anxiety, enthusiasm, uncertainty. She was about to face the grand door of euphoria which was to lead her to a dream that was everything she had ever wanted, or so she thought.

All those years when she was growing up, she had a dream; a dream so fragile, she would only whisper it. When she was just a girl, she would lie underneath the dark summer sky; she would follow those lanterns going up with her gaze, staring them long without blinking, fearful that they might disappear… She heard people tell stories of the great door of euphoria, the ritual of setting a flying lantern free up in the air as a gesture of celebration every time a person would cross the door, every time a wish would come true. On hearing the cheerful noise from the distance, seeing the lights go up, she’d run wildly to the meadow at the border, and holding her breath she’d make a wish. The same wish every time; the wish of being to the other side, to the grand entrance, where people come to never return. She dreamt of crossing the lines of the door, that takes people to a world where there is no despair; where the shackles of past loosen, the chains of doubt disappear. Where the lost love is found, the broken heart is mended. Walking home from the meadow, she’d imagine how the door would actually look and what the world behind it is like… Golden dancing fields of mustard? Glittering streams of cool heavenly water? Banks of soft clouds occupying the pink skies? Perhaps she’d get to see the talking trees, or might witness the queen moon walk freely on the silver soil surrounded by its starry maids. In her bed she’d lie and think that perhaps that’s where she’ll find love; a love as pure as that of Sassi Punno and as divine as that of Raam Seeta. Probably that was where she’d get to experience life. Her imagination would go wild thinking of all the beautiful possibilities, and she’d eventually fall asleep…

Years passed, and the time soon came. There she was, before the huge ancient green wooden door. It was a two-door entrance, the green paint was falling out and the wood had rotten; it had however effectively maintained its charm. A mahogany minaret shaped casing was carved and plastered around the door, like a protective outline. An unusual pattern embossed on it. There were two double door windows at either sides of the door having the same carved outline around with a similar pattern embossed on them; like an inscription bearing some spell, each revealing a story from Euphoria, that of faith and trust, that of love and devotion.

The door was but nowhere close to the kind she had imagined. She had thought of a huge metal bronze door, with keepers dressed in white and red embroidered garbs guarding it. She had anticipated a queue of starry fays dressed in gold waiting for her to be taken to the throne that awaits her. At her arrival, she assumed a group of men blowing heavy golden trumpets, with a huge crowd looking forward to her appearance, holding lanterns in their hands, and with every progressive step that she’d make, they’d cheer for her. She had expected to see every single person who she had loved and lived with to be there to wish her farewell. But none was found…

Before the three stair blocks leading to the grand door was a vast pond. Clusters of fungus had formed at its walls, pink and white lilies were floating sluggishly in the mild green water; the borders of the pond were neatly decorated with jade and orange rung having miniature swastikas designed with red at the bricks. She made a careful disheartened step forward and came to sit by the pond side, with her back at the grand door, tracing slowly with her finger the pattern of the swastika… Pain pricked her heart; a tear went down rolling, spreading the kohl around her eyes. She lifted her red henna painted hands to wipe them off. Staring vaguely through the intricate design painted on her palms, she began doubting, what if this is not everything she wants? What if the world behind that door is after all not as how she had imagined all those years growing up? What if the love that she is so eagerly looking forward to doesn't lie ahead? What possible consequences could this decision have? Over the course she will have ample occasions to think how it could have been, hen she would wander back to this particular moment here.

She looked straight towards the lanes she had come crossing; all that she was, all that she is and all that she’d ever be… She felt low, and eerily empty, and shallow… Scrap by scrap, the hope was unbinding itself. Struggling with the shadows in her head, her eyes accidentally fell at her own reflection on the pond. Small eyes highlighted by kohl, broad eyebrows, high cheek bones, a straight nose, narrow lips, pointed chin... Her lips abruptly twitched, curling up into a smile. She smiled at her own ordinary features, her own fashion of being unspecial. She tucked the lock of her curly hair behind her ear; her silk glass bangles clattered producing a pleasant music. And right from the heavens, came down a realization; how would she know unless she wouldn’t try? How would she get it when she wouldn’t just walk up and grab it? If she wouldn’t leave, how would she reach?

And so, she knew it was time. She knew that the time has come, the time was now. She roused, with her eyes at the grand door that awaited her. For the last time she turned to bid adieu to the world she has lived in, to bid farewell to the old memories she was giving away for new experiences; for the final time she looked back at the portrait of her childhood that was soon to wear off. For one last time, she glanced back to see the shadow of the love lost; and with that, making her way through the phantoms of uncertainty, she made her final steps…

Read Euphoria II here