Seems so long to me since I last blogged. Have been pretty busy.
Had this feeling.. No, actually Yeah -duh!- Yeah I'm pretty messed up!
Yes, I've been having this feeling since a while. I just realized how un-normal I am- No I'm not talking about ab-normal. The tag line to 'story of my life' is Un-normal.
Humans, come up with different ways in order to fit in this society. In this World.
Change their habits, replace their preferences, develop qualities in order to be special. Well yeah, every one here does have at least something special about them.
And being special is the sign of being normal -Here at least.
From the very beginning, I did have this I-deee-aa, that I'm not special.
Special people love to be under the spot light, they love to be the centre of attention. And in my case, to have everyone's attention on me is the worst thing I could imagine;
To be under the lights, to have eyes on me is the thing I've hated the most since forever. Because basically for that, You need to be amazing, and I knew (I know still) that there is nothing absolutely amazing about me, That there is something absolutely wrong with me.
* * * *
Special people love to be under the spot light, they love to be the centre of attention. And in my case, to have everyone's attention on me is the worst thing I could imagine;
To be under the lights, to have eyes on me is the thing I've hated the most since forever. Because basically for that, You need to be amazing, and I knew (I know still) that there is nothing absolutely amazing about me, That there is something absolutely wrong with me.
* * * *
Yeahh, No super power like Matilda.
No Boy like Edward.
No Companion like Jacob either.
No God Father like Sirius.
*snifff*
*snifff*
Oh-kay. Now on a little practical note.
Yes, I'm not a fragile delicate girl.
Yes, I don't have issues with taking medicines.
Yes, I can tolerate the sight of blood.
Yes, I don't get sick frequently - actually, don't get sick at all!
Yes, I love to gossip.
Yes, I'm an absolutely lazy person.
No, I don't have an extra caring elder sibling.
No, I don't have that lovey-dovey relation with my younger siblings.
Nop, No richie-rich type family.
No super cool gangly friends.
No, I'm not an extra ordinary student.
No, I'm not a bold outgoing girl.
No, I'm not a bold outgoing girl.
Its a list with the most common qualities. No "Oh-my-Gaaaad" type thingie.
Yup, that's all typical.
But now on a more serious note, The Un-normal element comes here, In my head. My thought processes.
My mental frequency runs parallel with everybody Else's. Rather than running together.
Never on the same track. Always having an entirely different angle.
Always thinking about things and people who existed either in past or didn't exist at all. Always thinking about impossibilities. Always thinking about the least anticipated thing.
Having sympathy with Villains. Having that curious feeling to explore the sentiments of cold people. Missing people I never met. Crying for people I don't know. Having those deep thoughts about the wheel of time. Imagining things that could have happened. Having that strong believe in happenings of fate. Loving the most odd things. Having fascination for darkness.
Detecting magic in every-single-bit.
The Un-normal factor is this. Having that third opinion, which deviates from real and falls into surreal.
-Ohkay now, if this you think makes me special, it does not. Well even if does, it is in an un-normal way.
So what is it?
A Messy head?
-Ohkay now, if this you think makes me special, it does not. Well even if does, it is in an un-normal way.
So what is it?
A Messy head?
Mental Disorder?
Fault in Brain Wiring?
Must be. *Sigh*
